Dear Engaged Couple-One of the questions I am often asked by couples like yourself is, “Do we really need a wedding rehearsal?” Now some of you might be thinking, “Why not?” I mean, rehearsals may not be all that fun but they only last a short period of time. Afterward there is one more opportunity to party at the rehearsal dinner—hopefully with people you count as your very best friends, and beloved family members. That being said, there are some very good reasons that couples may NOT want to have a wedding rehearsal. Here are some of the most common:
The parameters set by the venue. Many venues are booked throughout the weekend. So, if say, you have a Saturday wedding and there is a wedding at the venue on Friday night, there is really no good time to rehearse. You could schedule a Friday a.m. rehearsal, but if your wedding party is otherwise disposed (maybe with jobs!) then, your nearest and dearest may not be able to be there. Also, if you have a Friday morning rehearsal, do you skip having a rehearsal dinner?
Your wedding party’s travel plans. Even if your wedding party members have decided to take Friday off and you plan your rehearsal for Friday evening, that does not guarantee that they will arrive in time. People coming from points North (especially Washington, DC) are notoriously late for rehearsals in the Charlottesville/ Richmond areas. That’s because traffic arteries leaving DC are clogged by early Friday afternoons. Yes, It may be a 2 ½ hour drive from DC to Charlottesville, but double that drive time and then some on Friday afternoons.
Money. The venue may charge you for a wedding rehearsal on its premises.
Time and disorganization. One of you may have attended a wedding rehearsal that was extremely disorganized and boring. You don’t want to put your loved ones through that experience.
All we have to do is walk down the aisle, right?
Now, let me tell you what I know. Rehearsals are important. Even though wedding logistics may SEEM simple enough (Just walk down the center aisle, stupid!), there are components that may be confusing to your loved ones. Think about it this way. It may not bother you, but you don’t want members of your wedding party to be embarrassed because they walked down the aisle at the wrong time, or stood on the wrong side, or missed the service altogether, because they didn’t know where the wedding party was supposed to meet. It could happen!
As far as venue restrictions, I personally work with the venue to find an agreeable rehearsal time. I have sometimes lead rehearsals at 9 a.m. on a Saturday morning and then returned to the venue at 5 that evening to perform the service. I have even resorted to a quick huddle and walk-through a half-hour before the service. That is preferable to no rehearsal at all. For this last suggestion to work though, you (the bride and groom) must be clear with others who will be vying for your time—i.e. photographers and makeup artists–that for fifteen minutes close to the time of the wedding, you WILL be preoccupied with service plans. Also, a rehearsal the day of the wedding only works if you have decided to do a First Look.
Finally, as far as time well spent, I work with you in advance of the rehearsal. We prepare a “map” of where the wedding party will stand during the service. From that I work backwards to plan who will enter in what order. I also prepare an entry plan for your family members (hint: groom’s family usually enters before bride’s family). As long as wedding party members arrive on time, I can have you in and out of the rehearsal in 1/2 hour, even with a couple of run-throughs.
So, just be prepared. When you ask me, “Do we really need a rehearsal?” Unless you are eloping, and it’s going to be me, and the two of you, my answer will probably be YES!
Happy wedding planning.
Your Wedding Preacher for Hire
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