Tonight I officiated at the wedding of a lovely couple in Waynesboro, Virginia. It was held at the groom’s home–a lovely expanse of property with an equally lovely expanse of house. Let me tell you about that event. First off, most of the people involved in the work of the wedding–the planning, the set up, the men who parked the cars, the making of signs pointing the way for the bathrooms; the food preparers, the food servers–the list of jobs is endless as you know if you have planned a wedding–most of the people involved in the work of the wedding were friends and family members of the bride and groom. What of that?! It’s been awhile since I have officiated at a wedding like that. I have got to tell you, that there was something so very down-to-earth–so very well, heartfelt and down home about the event. It was also touching. What better gift could friends and family give the new couple than the gift of their time? And, all things weighed, which will be more appreciated–a pasta maker or the potted plants that someone brought to decorate the bare spot under the shade tree? What’s the better gift–a soup ladle, or the table decorations someone created for the wedding reception? That wedding was less like a party as so many weddings tend to be, and more like a modern day barn-raising or quilting bee. Everyone worked toward the same goal–to get two people hitched.
Now, for sure, some of these time-generous folk will be soaking feet at home at 2 a,.m. tomorrow morning–or maybe they will not even make it home. I suspect some will be sleeping where they are– slumped over a chair or stretched out on a couch or floor somewhere in the groom’s house–too tuckered out to make the drive home. And yet, they will have this je ne sais quoi, perhaps we might call it, a feeling, of deep connectedness. After all, they were more than spectators, or witnesses to the event. They helped make it all happen. In effect, they own a piece of the marriage. They gave it their sweat, and in some cases, their callouses. If it fails (and by God let’s hope not–I did the officiating, after all!) they will feel partly to blame, if it succeeds, which I suspect it will, it will succeed in part because friends and family will not let it be otherwise.
There are lessons to be learned here. Enough to say, though, this will be a wedding to be remembered.
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